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Today has not been a good day.

Reflection exercise

Today has not been a good day. It's 10 past 5 so it could potentially still take a turn for the better but with darkness already setting into the valley I am not feeling optimistic.
WWBD? (What would Brené do?)
I am attempting to employ some critical awareness and trying to separate out my thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Here's what I have come up with:
- I was not immune to bad days back home
- therefore just because you are somewhere different you are still not immune to mood lows
- a bad day here does not mean it's been a bad decision
- it's quite plausible that considering what you are doing the highs are higher but the lows are lower too, you do know this
- it's getting dark seriously early in London too, you didn't leave the northern hemisphere darling!
- the holiday glow is ebbing as it really sets in you don't have a real 'home', perhaps there is an insecurity attached to this?
- when you are feeling low, there are less distractions to avoid addressing the feeling, therefore you feel more acutely
- the old cliché, you can't run away from your problems, may well be ringing true
- you can't immerse yourself in Brené's world without it taking its toll on you. She suggests leaning into the discomfort and perhaps that is what is surfacing now?
- unshackling from a life long relationship with guilt as your companion does not happen overnight
- are you exercising self-compassion? Or kicking yourself while you are down? exacerbating your fragility with a barrage of internal abuse to keep you about 2 inches tall
- don't forget those hormones like to wreak havoc with you on a monthly basis, don't let them beat you
- work is very stressful at the moment - fact
- everyone has bad days, tomorrow is not unsurmountable
Practising gratitude
- I am grateful for my hour in the sunshine, warmth and vitamin D on my skin
- for the white space I created for myself
- for it being a beautiful day, even if I didn't take full advantage of it
- for the comfort I find in old songs
- for an old colleague expressing gratitude
- for bringing my hot water bottle with me all the way from London
- that I have this opportunity to try something different, even if not every day is stunning/amazing/breathtaking
- great material for a 'not-everything-is-awesome' blog post!
Short-term action
- hobnob (I am grateful I brought these over too) and a cup of yorkshire gold (yes brought those too!)
- rest and get an early night
- start again tomorrow
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